bit of a rant

Ok so I do not wish to make anyone get extremely worried or ruin anyone’s day but this is going to be about the yet again issues I am facing in Paraguay and I have no one to actually vent to so we are going internet venting style.

So I am living with this new family rite? I expected it would be great and a fantastic change to be in the city and in a big house. When I arrived the first day things seemed a little off when my parents picked me up because they did not speak to me. They asked me my name and that was about it, they did not ask why I came here where I was from and all the normal questions I get, which I found odd considering I am supposed to be living with them for a year. But I wrote off the situation.

                Now that I have been living with them for a few weeks my positive attitude is rapidly sinking. Coming home everyday to people who almost refuse to speak to me and exit a room when I enter is very hard to deal with. They will barely let me leave the house and refuse to allow me to have friends over. So all I tend to do is sit in my room and read. Today is different because I have planned today out with the AFS Volunteer so that I can get away. But my normal time is spent simply reading then going down stairs to grab some food for dinner then going to bed at eight pm which I only did when I was like 7 years old. The mother is angry with me all the time even before I open my mouth. I will ask permission to go anywhere she will say yes not an issue then be mad and call AFS.

                AFS tells all students that we must make %50 effort to fit and adjust into our new families in order to blend and not corrupt the culture. But the family needs to make the other %50 to accept the effort that the student is making. I am making %100 effort and my family is making none. I feel like am I cursed by the bad AFS gods that get me into bad families. I am sick of trying so hard to be happy. I could be in the USA to be miserable too.  I cannot even express how frustrating it is to see other AFS kids perfectly happy with their families and not even like mine. I feel like this person who invaded their home and they have no understanding of how hard it is for me to be living here and missing my home so much as well.