Primer ultimo día

Well yesterday I had my very last day of high school. Even though I already finished high school that was really the end of it all, the high school part but also, the Paraguay part as well. It started out just another day, of me not thinking about it and going through the motions, but then at lunch the reality of the situation kicked it. It didn’t faze me that it was ¨last day of high school¨ but, that this was the last time I would be with all the people together, ever. Because, yes I will see a few outside of school over the next few weeks but, it is not like I will ever have the relationship I have with them now once I go home. Which is slightly heart breaking, because these are some of the nicest and most welcoming people I have ever met. That’s when it hit me that this is all coming to an end, in a month. Though it is still surreal that it may not happen, because this is my life here and life back in USA isn’t actually there anymore just my life in Paraguay. That moment sitting at the table watching my friends yelling and swapping food with each other, made me realize that this is ending. My dad asked me over Skype the other day, ¨Was it worth it? ¨ I really stumbled over the answer and ending up changing the subject. But, when I think it through, that even though this trip hasn’t been anything close to perfect or a vacation in the least, it is coming to an end. This makes me see all the good that has come out of the whole experience. How being here has allowed me to grow a perspective as a person from the United States, but also as a Paraguayan, along with being able to let go of many things that were making my life much harder in the past and move on to the future. Also, I replied that ¨Maybe I should have gone to Panama¨ which had been my other country option. Thinking back on this response I just want to take it back. Because, even though Paraguay is not the perfect place and I could never see myself wanting to spend the rest of my life here I would never want to give up meeting the people that I have become friends with here. I could not even imagine not having these people in my life. And going to a different country would have done that. Also, though my Spanish is nowhere near perfect, when I was able to tour the city of Asuncion the other day with ten people from France that spoke no English but, a few spoke Spanish and I was able to speak to them in Spanish, it allowed me to realize that this is not only a necessity of life while living here. But, also how it opens so many doors to my life; between getting jobs and also allowing me to meet people I would never have been able to know because of a simple language barrier which is a great feeling. All in all, this trip has been worth it. Though not easy, it was and still is worth it.